Non-fiction, about 4,000 words.
This past weekend (March 23 and 24, 2019, for anyone reading this in the not-so-near future), I went to the Spooky Empire convention in Orlando, Florida. I’d never been before, and probably wouldn’t have gone this time, if I hadn’t seen the list of celebrity guests. Prominent at the top of the list was Christina Ricci, my favorite movie actress. When I mentioned this to my wife, she said, well, you have to go, because she knows how much I adore Christina Ricci. She’d have said the same thing if Jessica Alba had been scheduled to appear, because she knows that Jessica Alba is also one of my favorite actresses (my favorite TV actress, for Dark Angel, which no TV show before or since has beaten, for my money).
So I bought tickets in advance for a photo op and autograph with Christina. I bought them for Sunday and planned to only go that day. That was before the entire schedule was posted. When I saw the schedule, I knew I had to go on Saturday, too. Christina’s Q&A panel was happening on Saturday, and there was no way I could miss that. The wife understood.
Stop for a moment and think about who your very top, all-time, world-wide favorite celebrities are. If you had a chance to meet one of them, would there be any question about taking advantage of the opportunity? I didn’t think so.
I was more excited than I’ve been in years. I don’t know how much it showed, but emotions were bubbling inside me. They’re stirring now, just writing about it. I imagined what I’d say to Christina, how she’d smile at my words, and what her replies would be. We carried out conversations in my head, talking mostly about which of her movies I liked best and what I liked about them. No doubt she’s heard all this before from fans, but I wanted her to hear from me too just how wonderful an actress she is. I wanted to become a part of her life experience, not as much as she was a part of mine, naturally, but just for a moment be the only person in the world she was interacting with and do or say something she’d remember later, maybe.
Saturday morning came. I suddenly felt so damn nervous. What the hell. I’m such an introvert. I was still excited to go, but part of me balked, as though I feared I’d make a total mess of things. I couldn’t define exactly what bad thing I might say or do, but the pit of my stomach assured me I’d say or do something stupid.
I managed to get myself dressed and into the car, making it to the convention in time for the Addams Family panel with celebrity guests Carel Struycken and Jimmy Workman. Lurch and Pugsley. I had a second row seat. Very cool. Jimmy Workman told how he and Christina Ricci would get in trouble on the sets of the Addams Family movies, and he’d always get blamed for everything. They crashed golf carts. When he got older, he drove trucks, and now owns his own transportation company, providing services for the movie industry.
After that panel, I went to the autograph room. The line for Christina was so packed, I couldn’t see her or her table. There were plenty of other celebrities at the convention, and none of them except maybe Christopher Lloyd were as busy as Christina. I took the opportunity to talk with Edward Furlong, the actor who played John Connor in Terminator 2. I told him how Terminator is my favorite movie franchise. That’s the truth.
Then I talked with Fairuza Balk. She’s such a sweet person. I told her how much I loved The Craft, which truthfully is one of my favorite movies, and she’s absolutely my favorite character in it. “Girls, watch out for those weirdos,” says the bus driver. To which Nancy Downs, Fairuza’s character, replies, “We are the weirdos, mister.” Love it. I asked her which of her roles she liked the best, and she pointed at an 8×10 of her younger self dressed as a witch. I didn’t recognize it. She informed me it was from a movie called The Worst Witch. I looked it up later, and discovered Diana Rigg was also in the movie. Sweet. Made in 1986, the movie isn’t available to stream that I can find, and the DVD is expensive, but maybe someday I’ll have the chance to watch it. Another movie Fairuza enjoyed making was Gas Food Lodging. I’ve seen that movie, but it’s been a while. I need to watch it again.
I mentioned some other movies I’d seen of hers. Grindstone Road. August Falls. A Dose of Reality. I told her how I didn’t care for the ending of August Falls. She said something about not enjoying her part in the movie. I’d never considered how taking on certain roles might grate on a person’s soul. In August Falls, Fairuza plays a mother whose son is suspected of committing suicide. She tries to discover the truth of his death, and in the process learns a lot about the son she didn’t know.
Fairuza asked what I thought of A Dose of Reality. I didn’t tell her I’d given it a 5-star rating on Amazon. I should have. I did tell her that as a writer of fiction, I’d had an idea similar to the idea behind the movie, and was pleased to see the idea executed so well. The ending took me entirely by surprise, even with hints dropped along the way. If you have a chance to see A Dose of Reality, I recommend it. Don’t read any reviews first. And you need to watch it all the way to the end if you’re going to leave a review. Don’t jump to conclusions about the movie. Don’t stop watching halfway through and leave a poor review. I saw a review where the reviewer had made many wrong assumptions and based his assessment of the movie on those assumptions. Not nice.
The next panel was for the cast of E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, with Henry Thomas, Dee Wallace, Robert MacNaughton, and Matthew DeMeritt. I didn’t recognize Matthew. When I entered the room, he was already seated. I managed a front row seat at the panel. The other panel members were announced and came in. After a while we learned that Matthew was one of the actors who wore the E.T. costume for the movie. At the age of 12, he was inside that heavy suit, looking out through slits in its chest. Nothing was said during the panel about the physical condition Matthew was born with, so it took me by surprise when he came out of his chair at the end of the panel discussion. Watch the 45-second clip below and see for yourself.
After the E.T. panel, I hoofed it to the photo op room. Fairuza Balk was scheduled for that time, so yeah, I got my picture taken with her. I stood next to her, put my arm around her, and she laid her hand on me. One, two, three, said the photographer, counting off the seconds before the flash. Nice picture, with relaxed poses and heads raised. My jacket is zipped up so the head of Godzilla is prominent on my chest. Very cool. Fairuza signed the photo later. Even cooler.
Then came a photo op for the Addams Family group picture. Originally, Christina Ricci was scheduled to be in the group photo, but something caused the powers-that-be to remove her from the op just a few days before the convention. I’m curious, of course, but these things happen. I stood in front of “Lurch” and next to “Uncle Fester” and “Pugsley” for a picture. That was awesome. They all signed the photo later and I chatted with each of them. Wow. As I pointed at a nearby photo of him from Back to the Future, I told Christopher Lloyd I’d like to see him in another movie, sporting lots of wild hair. He laughed, but didn’t say no.
The last panel for the day on Saturday was for Christina Ricci. After having my picture taken with Uncle Fester, Lurch, and Pugsley, I hurried to get in line for her panel. I was terribly late getting there, and the line stretched down the hall twice and then down another hall and back. I got into line at the end of all that. I didn’t get the greatest seat…at first. I spotted a vacant seat closer to the front, and from there spotted another, and made it to the second row. Then someone in the first row got a phone call and left. Suddenly I was in the front row. Chills crawled down my back.
When Christina came into the room and sat on the guest’s couch, she was facing my direction, so I had a great unobstructed view of my idol. The moderator asked Christina a few questions and told her about Jimmy Workman growing up to be in the transportation business, which Christina hadn’t heard. That led to the topic of Christina and Jimmy getting into trouble on the sets of the Addams Family movies, crashing golf carts and other things. Christina denied crashing any of the carts. That was all Jimmy, she said. Maybe he tried to blame her for things, even now, but she wasn’t the one who got into trouble. Yes, she stole golf carts to go for rides, but she didn’t crash them, and she always put them back where they belonged.
People asked Christina questions or made statements about how brilliant an actress she was. Someone mentioned Pan Am, which I too loved watching. Someone else mentioned Z, the Beginning of Everything, an Amazon Original series with one season, which I also loved. Christina said she would have liked to continue the Z series, but Amazon had cancelled it, so that’s that.
We found out Christina really liked her role in Pumpkin. That’s one of my least favorite of her movies, so hearing it was her favorite made me a bit sad that I didn’t like it more. That’s okay. Everyone has different tastes. I’m just glad there’s some overlap between the roles she’s taken and the kinds of movies I like to watch.
Someone also asked Christina if there were any actors she’d worked with who made her feel starstruck. As if. But Christina named a couple. Christopher Walken and John Cusack. Wow. I didn’t feel so silly being starstruck by Christina, knowing she felt starstruck by her own idols. Good actors, both of them. I wondered how many people in the audience knew which movie she was in with John Cusack. Of course everyone knew she’d acted with Joan Cusack, but John? As for Christopher Walken, the fans at Spooky Empire undoubtedly knew that he and Christina had starred in Sleepy Hollow.
One fellow a little older than me was crying when he stepped up to the microphone. Maybe the fear I’d act the same way was why I didn’t step up to the mic to ask a question. I was fine sitting right where I was, soaking it all in.
At the end of Christina’s panel, the last person to take the microphone was Mick Foley, an author, actor, and former pro wrestler, who is also a big fan of Christina’s. He didn’t have a question. He was there to tell Christina how much he and her fans appreciated the entertainment she provided us and thanked her for coming to the convention. Emotion tinged even his voice. Christina took it all in with a smile.
After that, I hit the vendor room for a while. I met Ami Mercury, an artist and illustrator who makes a living being creative. That’s admirable. I’d love to do that someday. Ami does commissions. She also is the creator of a web comic called Orc Girl, which is a bit too mature for my tastes, but Ami came off as a very sweet person. Her twitter is @OrcGirlComic, if you’re interested in engaging her.
The next day, I got to the convention just in time to attend Christopher Lloyd’s panel. That man is an entertainer. He was the only guest who stood when answering questions. It was great that he did it, because I wasn’t that near the front for his panel, and seeing over all the heads of the audience was difficult when the celebrity guests were seated. Christopher had the tendency to lower the mic away from his face and leave it lowered, so some people had difficulty hearing. Regardless, he had some fun stories, and you had to be there to really appreciate them. I can’t do them justice. Go see him at a convention if you get the chance.
I went straight from Christopher’s panel to the Edward Furlong photo op. The fellow in line ahead of me had a replica of a high-tech rifle, and asked Edward to wield the weapon for a photo. Edward was glad to do it. He was so laid back and good-natured. He posed with me for a photo and signed it after the shoot. That shirt he’s wearing in the photo was purchased from a vendor at Spooky Empire.
After the photo op with Edward, two hours remained until my photo op with Christina, the one I’d prepaid for. I still had the prepaid ticket for her autograph too. The nerves in my stomach twitched at the thought of approaching her. But meeting her was the reason I’d come to the convention. At the rate I was going, the convention would be over and I’d not meet her, because I was too damn scared of something I couldn’t even define. What kind of wuss was I? It was time to cash in my autograph ticket. I got in her line.
Soon enough it was my turn to have something signed. Christina greeted me with a smile and a hello. I gave her a hello back, and whether it showed outwardly, I was smiling inside. My fear was gone. Words erupted from me, partly because her attendants were hovering and grunting, making me know I didn’t have time to chit-chat. There were other people in line behind me who all deserved their chance to get Christina’s autograph. While she signed my Sleepy Hollow DVD cover, To Mike xo CR.., I mentioned how great she was in Monster and mused on how no one in the panel had mentioned it. I brought up John Cusack and how I’d watched Distorted — twice — and loved it. And could I say one more thing? Sure, she said with that lovely smile. Her attendants stiffened at the idea of me continuing to talk, because at that point she’d finished signing for me. It was the next person’s turn.
But Christina had given me permission, so screw the attendants. I write fantasy stories, I told her, and she tilted her head with a little oh and a spark of interest in her gaze. My eyes grow moist now as I think back on that moment. None of my novels are published yet, I clarified, but I’m working on it. Her eyes asked where I was going with this, not in a hurry-up-and-get-this-over-with way, but an I’m-truly-curious way. I was beyond thrilled. You’re the inspiration for the antagonist in one of my stories, I told her. I have a picture of you saved in a file, and when I need to describe the character, I look at that picture for help. Really, she said, her lips twisting in a way to say how honored she was without putting it in words. Being an experienced actress, she knows how to do these things.
The belly of an attendant loomed in my peripheral vision. There might have been an arm reaching for me. My time was up. I’m having my picture taken with you at the photo op, I told Christina, and I want you to sign it too. Oh, then I’ll see you again in about an hour, she replied. The attendant hadn’t touched me yet. I exchanged goodbyes with Christina and left.
I hadn’t felt so giddy since that time I asked the woman who is now my wife for a first date and she said yes. With a light head, I navigated the halls leading to the panel room, where Edward Furlong would be the celebrity guest at the last panel of the convention. It was about twenty minutes before the panel would start. I expected the line to be longer at that point, not as long as Christina’s had been, but I was third in line. It grew in the next several minutes and eventually filled the length of the hallway.
Edward’s panel was different than all the others. He was both laid back and foul-mouthed. I didn’t take offense, but I didn’t expect that kind of language in a public forum either. His use of four-letter words gave the audience permission to use them too. One kid wanted to know who Edward would have sex with if he could do it with anyone he wanted, but the person would die the next day. The kid didn’t use the word sex, but used the four-letter word to describe the sex act. The moderator had told the audience to think of questions no one had asked before, so here we were. Edward said that was a tough question. He didn’t want to kill anyone. But he came up with an answer appropriate for a Terminator actor. If he had to choose, he’d go back in time to the day before Marilyn Monroe died, and have her. The kid dropped his chin but nodded with a weak smile and took his seat.
Before we left Edward’s panel, we learned that he cross-dressed and that Arnold had abused him during the filming of Terminator 2. Just kidding, Edward said. Don’t go spreading those rumors. Yeah, his panel was different.
No one else was asking the question I wanted answered, being a huge Terminator fan. So I went to the mic. What’s the likelihood you’ll play the role of an older John Connor in a new Terminator movie? Gasps echoed around me. They’re being really tight-lipped, Edward said. There’s a new Terminator movie in the works, but we can’t talk about it. That was enough for me. If they were being tight-lipped and he had to be too, then he must have signed a non-disclosure agreement. Why would he sign an NDA if he wasn’t involved? Time will tell, but I’m expecting a new Terminator movie relatively soon with Edward Furlong reprising the role of John Connor in some capacity, even if it’s only a cameo.
After Edward’s panel, I got in line for Christina’s photo op. Soon after, I was putting my arm around her and she leaned into me close enough to feel the pounding of my heart. One, two, three, said the photographer, counting not seconds but quarter-seconds. I didn’t have time to raise my head. I barely even looked at the camera. But I had my picture taken with Christina Ricci, standing right next to her, something I’d never thought possible. When she signed the photo later, I pointed out how my head wasn’t raised, like I was leering down at her like a dirty old man. An attendant gasped. No, Christina said with a flip of her wrist, it looks like we’re laughing at a joke. I agreed I’d tell everyone that. So forget what I said earlier. Christina Ricci altered reality. She told a joke just before the photographer shot our picture, and the photo captured us in our moment of shared laughter. We’ll always have our private little joke that no one else will ever hear.
We talked a bit more, like real conversation rather than the rushing of words during my first time at her autograph table. I was more relaxed this time. But the line was lengthening behind me, so we couldn’t talk as long as I’d have liked. I shook her hand and wished her all the best. Such a lovely young woman.
I don’t remember what I did for the next hour or so. Eventually I made my way over to Matthew DeMeritt’s autograph table, where I chatted with him for a while and got his autograph. Interesting fellow. He writes documentation, software-related, which he didn’t mention at the E.T. panel because it’s boring. Being a software developer myself, I didn’t find it so boring. Matthew is also a musician, which is perhaps more interesting to the general public, but he hadn’t even mentioned that at the panel. His band name is Ophir. He records the instrumental portion and a lady friend, Holly Lindin, records the vocals, sends them back to him, and he mixes them into the final track. They’ve released an album, Being Sound Vol. 1, which I found on Amazon Music. I’m impressed with the sound. It’s better than what Matthew had led me to believe. He was far too modest. I’m not sure where else you can find the album, but give it a listen if you have the chance.
The lines at the autograph tables were diminishing and in some cases had dwindled to nothing. Dee Wallace had already vacated her table, an attendant informed Matthew. The convention was winding down. It was time to go home.
On my way out, I noticed Christopher Lloyd had no one in line at his table, and he was still sitting there. He’s about to leave, I thought. Let me just real quick say thanks for coming and hope to see you in many more movies. So I said it and waved goodbye. Looking back on it now, I probably could have talked with him longer. Missed opportunity because I’d let Matthew’s attendant’s statements put me in the frame of mind that all of the celebrity guests were eager to leave.
I was still in that state of mind as I headed for the exit. Christina Ricci’s autograph table stood close to the door, and behold, she had no line either. Damn. Her attendants still hovered around her, and tried to head me off as I made my way to her table with nothing for her to sign. I gestured at Christina, and magically the attendant stepped back. So I got to talk with her one more time. Being under the impression she was probably wanting to leave soon, I talked faster than ever. I wish I could have been more calm and the conversation had been more casual. That would have made for an ending to the day beyond perfection. We talked for a while and would have talked for longer, but eventually the words stopped coming to my lips. I couldn’t think of other things to say. My mind had blanked.
No, wait. Another topic. Christopher Walken. Turns out Sleepy Hollow isn’t the only movie she’s worked on with him. They have a new movie coming out, Percy. Not sure when, but soon. It’s a farming drama. She didn’t go into details, but I didn’t press either. I’ll see it regardless. I told her when I learn of any new movie with her name on it, I’ll be watching it. The gleam in her eyes confirmed how much she appreciated that.
And then the words were all gone. I’d think of more later, but at that moment, I was done. I shook her hand again and backed away from the table, my eyes locked on hers for another too-brief moment as I burned her parting image in my brain.
I managed to find my car in the parking lot. Sitting behind the wheel, I let the tears flow. It had been such a spiritual encounter for me, like I’d met the female Jesus. It’s bringing tears to my eyes as I type this. Some people might not understand this feeling. I’m not sure I do. But even though it had made me cry and still can, the experience was Joy Incarnate and I’ll cherish it forever. When I stand before God on Judgment Day and He asks me what was my greatest achievement in life, I’ll say meeting Christina Ricci. He’ll nod sagely and wave me through the pearly gates.